Life n' Such

As part of 2011, in a vain attempt to jump on the whole "new start" train that affects 99% of the world's population but never actually gets followed through, I'm going to get a few things off my chest.

This is purely for my benefit. I am not writing this so people can try and figure out who these are directed at. Do not ask, I will not tell you. This is of course, assuming anyone even sees/bothers to read this.

Obviously, I'm not writing one about every single person in my friends list. These are the people who I have the most intense feelings about, who are constantly on my mind.

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Dear You,

You told me once that I am like an older brother to you.

I didn't know siblings toyed with each other's emotions and strung them along on a lie.

Don't know if I can forgive you right now.

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Dear You,

I really just don't like you. I don't like your jokes. I don't like how you think you're funny, because you're not. I don't like how you try to be edgy and it just comes off as you being a d-bag. I honestly believe that your views on Christianity are completely skewed.

I hate how a certain person acts when they're around you. I consider them to be one of my closest friends and you turn them into a jerk, just like you.

Please examine your life.

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Dear You,

I care about you so much.

Why are you taking this path? Why must you be one of those disgusting pigs who only cares about looks and reputation? Who doesn't look down the long-term path, yet only thinks of who you can bang now? This doesn't fit you, and it doesn't fit what God wants for you.

Please, stop. For your sake and mine.

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Dear You x 5,

You've saved me. Thank you.

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Dear You,

You confound me. You make my life miserable. I hate being around you. I'm scared to talk to you, afraid of saying the wrong thing.

And yet, I love you. You make life great. I look forward to when I see you next. I yearn to talk to you, having a conversation about anything and everything.

How can one person make me feel this way? Please, make up your mind. Make up MY mind. Why do I care so much about your approval, about always looking good in your eyes? About adjusting my life to fit into yours?

Let me go. Love me or hate me. Be my friend or my enemy. I can not make this choice for myself. You have to.

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Dear You,

If there is one person in this world who I can honestly say I hate, it is you. Everything about you disgusts me.

You are a huge jerk who only cares about themselves. Everything you do is only done to draw more attention to you. Even when you say you want to be alone and that you're hurting, it's ONLY so people will take notice to you.

Why do you dangle your "friends" on a string? If everyone knew who you really were, no one would talk to you. No one would like you. Your life would be full of misery and emptiness, which is no less than you deserve.

Even the look of you makes me cringe. I try not to judge based on outside appearances, but nature must REALLY hate you.

It makes me laugh that people tell me that you are so kind and loving and caring. It makes me laugh and cry to hear that you've fooled yet another person.

You're never happy. You always want. You're never grateful for the things that are given to you. You are SO BLESSED AND YOU DON'T EVEN CARE. You only are focusing on something bad that happened a LONG TIME AGO. Most people would move on with their life, and stop trying to garner sympathy from such events. But you have to try and milk it for all it's worth.

I honestly believe that everyone would be happier if you would just disappear.

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I may add more as I feel the need to.