Video Game Review: Final Fantasy XIII
Well hello again. This'll be the first of hopefully many video game reviews. I realize that probably no one will read this/cares, but I do, and it makes me feel important to be reviewing games, so I'm gonna do it.FINAL FANTASY XIII
Intro - FFXII is the 13th game in the Final Fantasy franchise. Actually, that's a lie. It's the FOURTY-THIRD (I know right? Seriously, WTC) entry into the Final Fantasy franchise, developed by Square Enix. But for all practical purposes, let's just pretend it's the thirteenth.
Starting Off - It starts off with the protagonist, Lightning (an alias, don't worry), and her...friend? Partner? Actually, they hardly know each other. Anyway, his name is Sazh, and they're running on top of trains fighting monsters in what looks like the apocalypse. Great start.
In this opening chapter (of which there are 13, oh ho, i c wat u did thar Square Enix), all of the playable characters are introduced with the exception of one: Lightning and Sazh, one of which is a serious ex-cop who has so much stoicism and arrogance that you just want to punch her in the face, and the other of which is a black cowardly...something. The game doesn't do really well at telling us who the characters are right away. With Final Fantasy, it takes some time. The other three characters introduced to us are Snow (which I guess is his real name), which seems to be searching for his fiance and also uses his fists for fighting (cuz weapons are for WIMPS) and is so smug and cocky that I'd like to punch HIM in the face as well. Vanille is a girl with orange/pink hair and takes the kookie role this game which she plays with ease. Hope (I've basically given up on anyone having normal names anymore) is an angsty 12 year old whose mom is dead and doesn't have any will to live.
Because there's so little to say about it, let's get the GOOD things out of the way. The scenery, cinematography, and graphics are GORGEOUS. It's obvious that the design team worked down to their bones in this aspect, and it's great; even the in-game graphics look awesome. The voice acting is pretty good, at least better than some games, and...that's it.
That's literally the ONLY NICE THINGS I can say about the game. I am a HUGE Final Fantasy fan. I've played through 7 and 10 more times than I can count and the others can at least hold a flame to it. But 13 is TERRIBLE. What I gather is that Square Enix tried to make it appeal to non-fans, but what's the point of that? People who aren't fans of Final Fantasy probably aren't fans of J-RPG's in general, so changing almost everything about the game isn't going to help.
Gameplay - BORING AS CRAP. All it consists of is walking down a linear corridor and fighting monsters. Eventually you'll get to a boss fight. Then a 10 minute cutscene. Lather, Rinse, Repeat.
Battles - Also boring as crap. Monsters have huge chunks of life and since you can only control one character, each battle is almost assured to last at least five minutes. The battle system is annoying and monotonous as well.
Story - Same recycled plot. Evil authority. Rebels who try to take it down. Conflict. Resolution. Not to mention that it takes about 25 in-game hours just to start to get to know the characters AND to get your final party member.
Difficulty - RIDICULOUS. FF13 has the most ridiculous difficulty curve I've ever encountered in a game. For the first half of the game, you can get by by just fighting the occasional monster and boss battles. About halfway through the game, it becomes IMPOSSIBLE. Some boss battles took me 5 or 6 tries and I had to look at a guide to figure out how to beat it, and even some normal battles are insanely difficult, especially around the last two chapters.
Multiplayer - None. No online anything either.
Last thoughts - To continue on about the difficulty, part of the Final Fantasy routine (or basically any RPG in general) is grinding battles. However, a good game will make you want to grind so you can beat that boss, and a bad game will make you not care in the slightest and only get you annoyed. In FFX, I literally spent hours before the fight with Yunalesca to get Yuna her Holy ability, because it was and still is the only way I can beat her. However, in FFXIII, I had no want to grind. I was getting impatient with how difficult the monsters were and quit more than a couple times. Nothing made me want to try harder to beat the bosses.
Everything in this game is filled with bad ideas. The weapon and accessory upgrading system is pointless and annoying. There are no side-quests at all aside from a stupid hunting thing, and you can NEVER deviate from the main path, except in one short section. This game is 99% linear and BORING.
Bottom Line - If you are really a fan of J-RPG's and Final Fantasy in particular, I would RENT this game or BORROW it from a friend. Don't waste 60 bucks on it.
Labels: 13, fantasy, final, final fantasy, final fantasy xiii, review, video game, xiii
posted by Andyroo @ 2:46 PM
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